As inconceivable as it seems, I'm actually going to write a post that's relevant to the title of this blog.

Yesterday I covered Trenton's State of the City Address, and it was an honorable presentation, especially considering it was the Mayor's first official public speaking event.

Some of the most memorable moments had nothing to with the city at all, but rather the citizens and officials attending the event.

I arrived at the event, ready to eat some free food and listen to a speech, so I sat down at one of the tables closer to the podium where someone else had already draped their coat over the back of a chair. A promising 2 hour friendship was about to be formed, a duration long enough to hear about a job and lack of free time, but short enough that I'd avoid hearing about dreams, goals and relationship issues.

But about five minutes after I sat down she picked her coat up and moved across the room. Yes I wore deodorant. No, I did not fart. Yes, I was well behaved. No, I did not have crap in my teeth.

That's fine. I didn't want to hear about why she named all five of her cats "Paul" and gave each one a different spelling anyway.

After being left in solitude, people began venturing toward the buffet to fix their plates and engorge on a beef and noodle dish. Of course I had to get up there with everyone else, I didn't have to pay admission, who knew if they were even going to let me eat?

As I was finishing my salad one of the convention center workers came over to the tables adjacent to mine and told them they could go get in line for food now. Whoops. As a woman at the table to the left rose, she eyed my already full plate and shot me a quick glare before proceeding to join the rest in line. The only thing stopping her from lunging at my food in primal fury was surely the tight grip I had on my plastic fork. Always defend your kill, lest the scavengers attempt to take it.

The crowning moment of the pre-speech meal was when a woman, friend of the glarer, dropped her plate food-side down on the floor when she was but two steps from her chair. A worried "Oh shhhhhhhhhoot" was all she had to say about it. Her self-control was impressive. If I had just spilled a wondrous bounty all over the floor the thought of having to stand in line again would have been enough to string together a memorable chain of vulgarity that would never be forgotten.

The excitement died down after that and the mayor began her speech. There was little in the way of further comic relief.

I said the post would be relevant to the title, not dripping with meaningful experiences.

For the actual story about the Trenton State of the City Address by Mayor Kyle Stack look on thenewsherald.com